For years and years, I could not play single player games. They held very little for me to want to do. I remember a key moment where I was playing assassin's creed origins, and it felt like a journey I tagging along on. Despite it being an open-world game, the game felt like a taxi ride with a good view. I was comfortable and I could just hang out. I didn't need to change anything about the way I think, and after a day of playing the game, I left it the same as I entered. If I got nothing from the game, I couldn't get myself to play.
In Elden ring, progress comes not only in the form of statistics, but also in the form of skill. This skill is required to progress the game. The items and xp make you want to get better, and getting better makes you want to use the items.
Despite this skill progression, Elden ring is still just a game. Games are easy. Games are more or less designed to be fair. The rewards are higher than life, and the risks minimal. Losing in elden ring is just lost time, while losing in life may mean days or weeks of stress.